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| (if you don't read Brennan Manning, you should...here are some of his words that continually inspire and challenge me) When I accept in the depths of my being that the ultimate accomplishment of my life is me- the person I've become and who other persons are because of me- then living in the wisdom of tenderness is not a technique, not a craft, not the Carnegian ploy of how to win friends and influence people, but a way of life, a distinctive and engaged presence to God, other ragamuffins, and myself. Something that I've been learning over the past couple of years is how to live out an authentic spirituality in a church age where so many are afraid to admit weaknesses and failures, or afraid to admit that the culturally accepted norms of church life and Christianity have little significance to them. I am learning how to be true to God, true to myself and true to others, how to be completely honest when I have fears, doubts or just a lack of desire in living out my faith in Christ. What I love about the above quote is the reminder that true spirituality is about me being honestly engaged with God, self and others. So whether or not I am walking out the prescribed norms, fulfilling the expectations of the Christian culture that I am part of, is not the issue. Am I being honest, living with integrity? Am I engaging God authentically each day? Am I aware of myself, my own struggles and shortcomings, or do I deny them, letting them pile up with no hope of being redeemed? Am I honest with other people, or do I pretend to be someone that I am not, leaving others feeling alone and isolated in their struggles, wondering why faith in Christ doesn't work for them the way it seems to for me? Authentic, Christ centered spirituality requires me to realize that my single most important goal each day is to walk in the freedom Christ offers. This freedom is based on the fact that God doesn't grade my performance. He doesn't sit back and take notes so that He can criticize me at the end of the day. He accepts me. His heart is tender toward me. Manning says, Accepting myself as one loved by God with infinite tenderness, I'm liberated from the vagaries and mindlessness that clings to a potpourri of artifacts and attitudes: the blood line, the nation, the church, money, ego, entitlement, sexual muscle, security, violence and the paltry goods of modern life...If we feel ourselves harassed by busyness, dejected by our unmet needs for affection, and concerned that our lives are a grave disappointment to God, our self-worth may rise or fall, like sails responding to the wind, on the approval or disapproval of others. Manning encourages us to live in the accepted tenderness of God. That is, realize that God's heart is drawn to us no matter what we do, no matter what we make of our lives. In the experience of warm, caring, affectionate relationships, the heart grows tender. Tenderness doesn't make us more productive; it isn't task-oriented, managerial, or manipulative; it doesn't make us more efficient and doesn't function as a self-help tool to enhance success in the social and financial spheres. The way of tenderness affects our manner of being in the world rather than our manner of doing in the world. It leads to a gentle presence to oursleves, to others and to God. God, help us to live such lives... | | |
| Something that I've observed in myself over the past few years is how selfish I can be, even in my desire to defend the defenseless and help the helpless and live as a minister of the Gospel in India. The following quote brings conviction because it describes me so well. Czech poet Vaclav Havel said this: There is such an enormous gap between our words and deeds! Everyone talks about freedom, democracy, justice, human rights and peace; but at the same time, everyone, more or less, consciously or unconsciously, serves those values and ideals only to the extent necessary to serve his own interests, an those of his group and state. Who should break this vicious cycle? Responsibility cannot be preached: it can only be borne, and the only possible place to begin is with oneself. God, help me not to serve the values and ideals of Christ only to the extent that they serve my own interests... | | |
| so...as you can see I'm reading a book called "Exiles: Living Missionally in a Post-Christian Culture" by Michael Frost here's the most profound quote from the first few pages... Christiandom has molded our churches into their current form and abandoned them to a world that is completely over it. The idea is this: "Christiandom" simply refers to the religious culture that has dominated Western culture (the only culture most of us have know) since the fourth century when Constantine declared Christianity the official religion of the Roman empire. A significant shift took place at that point in history, when Christianity went from being a subversive, marginalized, persecuted movement of radical Jesus followers (followers of "the Way") who were willing to risk their lives in order to obey Jesus, to meet together, to worship and break bread and drink of the cup together...from an underground society dedicated to carrying out the mission of Jesus, which is to carry His message to all people...from this, to Christianity becoming the only religion of the empire, the state. Followers of the Way went from meeting secretly in homes and even in underground catacombs to occupying some of the most contemporary and luxurious temples and meeting places in the empire. The Christian institution began and soon replaced the former Way. Structure, ritual, professionalism were introduced and much of the passion and zeal was lost to a new way of lving the Way, a way that held much influence over the state, yet that was influenced much itself by the state. the Church + the State = Christiandom, the religious culture that has dominated Western ideology, philosophy, politics, personal ethics, individual lifestyle, etc. So most of my generation have seen an enormous change taking place in our world. Christiandom has all but died right before our very eyes. Our culture was once dominated by absolute truths whose origins are in the Judeo-Christian tradition, the Bible, and the history of the Church/State relationship. The Judeo-Christian influence was everywhere- our homes, our schools, our courtrooms and capitol buildings and, of course, our churches. The church existed very nicely in such a society. It held EXTREME RELEVANCE because every, even if they didn't take their faith very seriously, believed that the church had something significant to contribute to society and culture. Because culture was warm toward the church, the church was warm toward culture. The church had "a place" in the larger context of society and an institutionalized church made sense as it contributed alongside the other institutions of culture- political institutions, educational institutions, etc. The way we "did church" was largely defined by the fact that we existed comfortably within a culture that wanted us. But, things have changed, and culture is no longer interested in the Church...at least, not the true Church. Actually, the institutions of culture at large have become very hostile to the church. This is evident in major was such as the Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion, the state's decision to rid public schools of prayer, the Bible, an any other reference to the one true God, Jesus Christ, the transition of Ivy League colleges from Evangelical Christian seminaries to breeding grounds of anti-Christian ideology, and many other examples of true Christianity being pushed aside, out of public life. Basically, what is happening in our day and age is that Christianity is returning to its pre-Constantine roots. Once again, we are being marginalized, persecuted, subverted. The shift we see taking place in culture is happening without much of the church paying wise attention to it. While the culture around us continues to push aside any notion of Christiandom, we (the Church) largely continue to exist and function as if in the context of a Christian culture that welcomes and embraces. We continue to try and keep the institution alive, the profession of clergy relevant, the ritual and routine unchanged. We are failing to realize that the way we've done the Way will not survive for much longer as we are now well into a post-Christiandom era. The world is over Christiandom. The church is not. Frost says that his book is for the many people who wish to be faithful followers of the radical Jesus but no longer find themselves able to fit into the bland, limp, unsavory straitjacket of a church that seems to be yearning to return to the days when 'everyone' used to attend church and 'Christian family values' reigned...for those who can't remain in the safe modes of the church and wish to live expansive, confident Christian lives in this world without having to abandon themselves to the values of contemporary society...for those Christians who feel themselves ready to jump ship but don't want to be left adrift in a world where greed, consumerism, laziness and materialism toss them about endlessly and pointlessly...such Christians live with the nagging tension of being at home neither in the world nor in the church as they've known it... This describes me pretty well. Does it you? | | |
| I turn 30 years old today. I big day in my life, right? Celebration is in order as I reflect on the first 30 and look forward to the next 30. Yet, as I write my mom lies sick in a hospital bed. For those who don't know she was taken by ambulance to the hospital Friday night with complications from her diabetes- highly toxic blood that, if left untreated, could have ended her life. God graciously intervened and didn't allow her to fall asleep sick Friday night. Had she fallen asleep she may not have awakened the next morning. I have to admit I've had a lot of difficulties understanding God recently. Yet, in the midst of all of my personal crises of faith there's only one source that I can turn to in a time like this- the very God who I've had such a hard time believing. I know it's by His grace that Mom's life was spared. I know that it's by His grace that she is recovering, slow as that recovery is. Please honor my 30th birthday today by saying a prayer for my mom. When I blow out the candles on the birthday cake today, my only wish will be that she recovers fully and quickly. | | |
| Existentialism is one of those fuzzy philosophical systems that most people have a hard time understanding. I'm no exception. Most of us who claim to be followers of Christ know that existentialism is bad. That's about as far as we get. One writer summarizes existential philosophy by saying, "I don't find meaning, I create it." I don't know if I'm comfortable with that definition of existentialism because, quite honestly, it sounds a lot like my own attempts at times. It's a strange paradox in which I live. I call myself a follower of Christ, and I claim that this fact defines my reality. If the essence of existentialism is creating my own reality, then have I created my own reality by choosing to call myself a follower of Christ? Does the fact that I call myself a follower of Christ create the reality that I am a follower of Christ? Do I define the objective reality of my life by calling myself a Christian? The opposite truth of existentialism is this: objective reality exists outside of me, apart from my creation of it, despite what I say. This objective reality is, of course, determined by God. I wonder...does God call me a Christian? Does God look down upon my life and see objective realities that define who I am, or does He simply hear me utter the words, "I'm a Christian..." And if He does hear me utter those words, is that sufficient for Him to call me one of his beloved sons? As far as I know, God is the only One whose words create reality. You and I merely communicate reality by our words; we don't create reality by our words. But I don't even always communicate reality very well with my words. I have the uncanny tendency to use my words to deceive or cover truth or to exaggerate truth rather than to reveal pure truth. More importantly, truth about who I am is communicated by my deeds. And my deeds don't often lie. Jesus said, "...every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit...a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." What does this mean? It means that the objective reality of my identity (am I a good tree or a bad tree?) will determine how I act out my life- in word and in deed- not vice versa. I can't make myself a Christian by calling myself one. I can't make myself a Christian by putting on a good show when others are watching. I can talk a big talk and hope that somehow by claiming to be a follower of Christ I will become a follower of Christ. I can attempt to create my own reality. Or, I can examine my heart, my motives, my actions on a daily basis to see if there is evidence that God's Spirit is alive and well in me- objectively, purely alive and well in me. Is the objective reality of the life of Christ in me evident? Or do I continue to fruitlessly attempt to create the reality of Christ in me? "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you- unless, of course, you fail the test?"
-2 Corinthians 13:5
For everything I believe about the eternal security of the believer this verse in 2 Corinthians is a sobering reminder that my claims about myself do not determine reality about myself... I'm not an existentialist. That's the problem. If I could create reality by my words I wouldn't need the reminder to constantly examine myself to see whether I'm in the faith. | | |
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